Agency Dossier

ORGANIZATION: Groyper Intelligence Agency (GIA)

THEATER: 2b2t.org — overworld, nether, and end dimensions

SOVEREIGN: The Emperor. His identity is known to those who need to know it.

DIRECTOR:               

FOUNDED:            — see SECTION II, INCIDENT ZERO

SECTION I — FOUNDING CHARTER (EXCERPTS)

FORM GIA-CHR-001 // RATIFIED, STAMPED, AND FILED. THE STAMP WAS ALSO FILED.

ARTICLE I. The Agency exists to collect, protect, and act upon information within the theater designated 2B2T.ORG.

ARTICLE II. The Agency serves the Emperor. The Emperor serves no one.

ARTICLE III. Information acquired by any member in the course of duty is the property of the Agency. Members are reminded that the Agency exists in its present form specifically because this article was once violated. See Section II.

ARTICLE IV. All operations require Form GIA-OP-REQ-7, filed in triplicate. The Agency acknowledges that "triplicate" is not a meaningful concept in Minecraft. The requirement stands.

ARTICLE V. Mercy toward traitors is classified as a disciplinary offense under Form GIA-DIS-2, subsection (a): "crimes of softness."

SECTION II — INCIDENT ZERO

THE FIRST BETRAYAL // FILE REMAINS OPEN

On the night of           , an individual entrusted with the coordinates of the Agency's first facility provided that information to              in exchange for                 . The facility was destroyed before the following queue cycle completed.

The after-action inventory (Form GIA-AAI-1, the first form the Agency ever filed) records the loss of: 1 (one) base; ██ shulker boxes of materiel; 246 (two hundred and forty-six) beacons; and the Agency's willingness to trust anyone, ever again.

Every institution of the modern GIA descends from Incident Zero. The intake dossier exists because nobody was vetted. The oath exists because nothing was sworn. The clearance ladder exists because everyone knew everything. The Wall of Traitors exists because the Agency resolved that the next name would be published.

The individual responsible has not been forgotten. The file remains open. The Agency is patient.

SECTION III — ADMINISTRATIVE RECORD

CURRENT FISCAL ERA // AUDITED INTERNALLY, BY US, AND FOUND FLAWLESS

ANNUAL BUDGET: ██ shulker boxes. Expenditure on gunpowder is itemized under "diplomacy."

PERSONNEL: Headcount classified. Morale assessed as "ACCEPTABLE" per Form GIA-HR-3. No follow-up questions were asked, per Form GIA-HR-4.

FACILITIES: Field offices at           ,               , and         . The Agency does not confirm or deny the existence of additional facilities, including to itself.

OUTSTANDING GRIEVANCES: 2 (two). Both filed against Emperium. Both reviewed by the Agency. Both upheld by the Agency.

PAPERWORK COMPLETED THIS FISCAL ERA: All of it.

The remainder of this file — command structure, the membership register, active operations, and Appendices A through ██ — is sealed pending declassification by GIA Command.